The first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight ... The stars out at Kirst's parents house by Priddis were so brilliant tonight ... they took my breath away. I finally found the guts somewhere deep in myself to come home ... and be alone. I got a message on my way home last night from my mom ... divorce papers. My heart seized ... even though I let him go a long time ago now. Pieces of my heart streamed down my checks. I seriously contemplated going straight to the airport and getting on the first plane to my sister ... but ended up outside Kirst's place. I crumpled into her arms ... balled ... and asked her how I was supposed to make myself sign. But in the midst of the last 24 hours ... I saw how far I really have come. Even though I had to sleep on Kirst's couch last night and watch TV until my eyes could no longer fight sleep anymore ... somehow in the midst of life my heart really has healed and become stronger than I knew ... what a sneaky heart! After I started breathing again ... I stole Jameson from Jason's arms, got some chocolate, and settled into talk with Kirst about absolutely nothing related. Tonight It is amazing to me how a story of a broken heart somehow became a story of the immense power of the absolute strength of the human spirits fight for peace and joy, and the beauty of friends who love me with utter simplicity and perfection (most of the time ; ) he he he). I am ready. I am ready to make what has been over for a long time officially over. I am ready to open up my heart to the possibility of a second chance ... (which I understand has a lot of loop-holes I could crawl back through ... but is in and of itself a huge step!).
Thanks Kirst ... for everything ... especially driving an hour and a half for cheesecake ; ) and creating such beautiful children who I could never deny a smile and bring my life such joy! I love you!
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- H
- I am doing my best to find the good things in my life and cherish them. I love deeply. I laugh hard (so hard I sometimes snort). I still dream and believe that dreams are meant to be followed. I try to depend on God. I have so much to learn. I hope.
2 comments:
Beautiful,
I speak for my whole family when I say that we are so proud of you. The bravery it takes to wake every morning and enjoy each moment, even the difficult ones is amazing. To put it visually, I picture you with your shield and sword drawn defeating enemies left right and center, with an army standing behind you. And we are proud to say that you will continue to slay your challenges with a grace of that of a true daughter of the King.
Love you Tons
Sarah
I love you too Heath, and my kids adore their auntie Heather. Thanks for including us in your journey, you are a treasure.
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