Painting off my pants....

It is wonderful to get dirty. I spilled a huge globe of paint on my pants ... and I just dabbed the brush in it and continued. In our high-school days (okay a little after that as well) me and my girls used to find joy in making a mess of ourselves ... ha I am remembering a picture of us covered head to toe in mud!
I have started painting in the last year. When it is just me lost in a world of beautiful colors and my little right hemisphere firing away like a camp-fire, hours slip away. I love it. I feel alive and peaceful and proud. Tonight I finally finished a painting I have been staring at for the last couple of months. I did something I did not like and for some reason could not get up the courage to return to it ... so instead I stared at it everyday (no that does not makes sense ... hmmm). I learned a beautiful thing about acrylics ... you can paint over your mistakes(Can we do that in life?). And I love it ... when I was finished I made a cup of tea, turned on some beautiful music and sat back and just stared at it!
But I am so nervous to share it. My friends say they like my paintings. Some say they love them. But they are my friends and they know my heart is still a little fragile and that this has been a healing thing for me. However, one dear friend (yes you Carrie) wants me to paint something for her house. It started out as a small canvas but has somehow graduated to something much larger from my understanding ... to go in a frame ... "WHAT", "you do know I really can't paint right?". Makes me a little rumbly in my tumbly ... but I love her so ... and it would be so wonderful to be able to make her something that she might actually feel my love through. But ... ughhh. One of my favorite Christmas gifts was a beautiful tea-cup that my good friend Brendon MADE me ... so gifted! Each time I use it I am reminded of our friendship and feel loved. It would be wonderful to be able to give that ... so I will try ... or I will at least try to try!
The other funny thing that I have learned through this painting thing is that I have this belief that learning more about something can take the joy out of it. I don't want to take a course on painting because I am scared that it will become technical and I will loose the peace that I find in my painting world. But then maybe I would have known you can paint over acrylics and the above mentioned stand-off between me and the canvas could have been avoided? Same thing with swimming ... when I started my lessons I was a little discouraged because I realized I have been practicing an "ineffective stroke". Perspective right ... it was effective enough to get me from one end of the pool to the other! Wanna know a secret though ... a have shaved 5 seconds off my lap!! So maybe I will take painting lessons... dunno. Learning and I have a precarious relationship. There is a plaque above my sink that stares at me each day "I am still learning" ... who? Michelangelo! Some days I feel like I have had about enough lessons and want to paint right over that plaque! He he .. never do ... but it is fun to be like that sometimes.
I so admire the courage it takes an artist to share!
By the way it was -38 last night (no I do not want to know what it is in Austin!). I thought my down jacket was going to break into pieces ... it was making a weird sound ... and my locks froze!