"Because you will never again be able to keep it quiet. Even if you pretend not to have heard what it tells you, it will always be there inside of you, repeating to you what you're thinking about life and about the world"
The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
If you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured, it may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed, races won, or lasting happiness achieved.
- Maurice Chevalier, 1888 - 1972
Every once in awhile I look at the Health Region job site ... And while I was doing this the other day my heart yelled. There was a posting for a child life specialist in the oncology unit. Sometimes when I am overwhelmed with the brilliance of something I almost hold my breath ... It is like I want the world to stop for a minute so that brilliance can stay a minute longer in my heart. It may not make sense to talk about a job this way ... But it is not a job to me ... I believe it is my calling, my destiny, my passion. I think that I don't really talk much about how my heart moves at the thought of such a job because it is a scary thing to claim something that strongly. And why have I not done more to follow my dream ... Fear. Fear that I am not qualified. Fear that I will not be strong enough. Fear of leaving a great job. Fear of going back to school. Fear of change.
This book that I am reading The Alchemist: A Fable about Following Your Dream has really been challenging my heart. I feel into a fabulous job that I love. All around me I see people whose work is only a means to an end. And although there are days when my heart is heavy with the unbelievable sadness I hear from the mouths of babes, and I wish that I had a job that did not require my heart, my soul needs that. My heart is a heart that starts to fade when it is not working to heal other hearts. And it is my heart that I feel is my biggest asset in my work ... But how do you put that on a professional resume. How do you convey to the clerk who screens hundreds of resumes that you believe that you were created to do this work.
Simple right? You tell them ... And I did. I wrote it on my cover letter and deleted it, rewrote it and re-deleted it ... And finally took a deep breath rewrote it a final time and sent it off. I may not get this job. It is hard to get into the region ... But maybe I will. And even if I don't ... My heart has once again felt that desire ... It has spoken and as scared as I am I am going to try my hardest to listen to it. I have thought about starting to look for postings in other cities ... the thought of leaving Calgary scares the crappers out of me.
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I was waiting for some parents at a school today and was drawn to a classroom display titled "The Greatest Thing about ..." Each child wrote out the greatest things about one of their peers. And did you know that the greatest thing about Kevin is that he is Kevin. Isn't that brilliant, so simple but so true and just so freaking brilliant. I hope that there are people out there who think that the greatest thing about Heather is that she is Heather. That simply being a Heather is a great thing. It feels like a great thing most days : )
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- H
- I am doing my best to find the good things in my life and cherish them. I love deeply. I laugh hard (so hard I sometimes snort). I still dream and believe that dreams are meant to be followed. I try to depend on God. I have so much to learn. I hope.
3 comments:
OMG! That is EXACTLY what is so great about you! You AND Kevin!!!
What a wise child that thought of that.
xxoo
PS If you need to go to another city, you will go and you will take all our love and support and you will project your Heatherness through the air molecules and other GREAT people will be attracted to you and you will be lonely for only 1 week!
QT
Hello My Heather
Loosing you to another city tares at my heart but what a wonderful thing for whatever city you might choose. They would get to know and love you like we do just for being Heather.
Good on ya for sending the cover letter. YOU GO GIRL!!!!
BIG HUGS
K8
Your Heatherness is everything that makes you your wonderful you. It is what I love about you. You wouldn't be Heather without your huge heart, open arms and beautiful soul. You're right that those traits are difficult to put on a resume, but they are essential for the job. How can you help kids learn how to live life without showing them love? without giving your heart to them?
Months ago, you wrote about how you felt like you'd given pieces of your heart to everyone and you wondered if you had any left. Well, all your friends, family, coworkers and kids have given you pieces of their hearts too. When you're feeling down or lonely think of all those pieces of peoples hearts as a big huge cozy quilt and wrap yourself up in it and feel all that love. And it's the "Heather" in you that we love.
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