Last weekend Kirst treated me to another ladies christmas tea at her church. Last Christmas was a hard one. Everyone was right when they said that the year milestones were the hardest and that anniversaries after that ease. I am treating my heart gently though and trying to not put it in places that may hurt it.
I remembered last year's tea very clearly. I wrote this:
Today my dear friend Kirstyn took me to a ladies tea at her church. The room was magically decorated and filled to the brim with women. We were just about to start singing carols and Kirstyn left to use the washroom – my heart was sad because I love to hear her sing. I keep telling her that the best gift she and my girls could ever give me would be a CD of them singing my favorite songs. I have been blessed with three of my closest friends being angelic singers – imagine being able to hear your favorite singer live all the time – pretty lucky girl eh! I was singing and just enjoying the moment and then all of the sudden I felt my heart exhale – I did not see her come back in the room but as soon as I heard her voice … my heart felt … home, and safe, and overflowed with an awesome peace … it made me cry. I inched closer, closed my eyes and soaked up the moment. How I ever got so blessed with such dear friends I will never understand – and will never feel totally worthy of their love and devotion. Kirst has one of the most beautiful voices, but what makes it so beautiful to me is that she sings from her heart, a heart that I know, love, and trust. Today … her spirit hugged mine … and brought it a little more healing.
This year's tea was a little different. I did not get to sit by my Kirst or hear her sing but I did get to watch her shine. She volunteered to host one of the tables this year which means she got to decorate it. My Kirst thrives off of decorating and I have not seen her as excited as she was over her table in a while. It was by far the most beautiful table of them all. It was brilliant and warm, tasteful and creative. I was so proud of her and to be connected to her. It really is a joyful thing to share in and celebrate the achievements and talents of those you love. It is odd and sad how we sometimes feel threatened by what others do better than us. Like in some way it takes away from our value. When in reality having brilliant people in our lives, like Kirst in mine, reflects and shines on us ... for those brilliant people have chosen to love us and just being near them we can not help but be lit brighter by some of their brilliance.
Grrr ... spell-check and picture up-loading have disappeared.
2 comments:
Can't wait to see Kirst's table! Also love your reflection on how there is no need to lose our own value over other people's achievements. It has taken some growing to get there, but I agree that being in their circle of love and talent is as good as possessing their skills. Thanks for letting me into your circle--I love it there!
QT
Awww Heath, Thank you. So glad you were there with me. Love you
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