Picture after picture of a life that I have been truly living and honoring for the past two years appearing and fading in front of me was exactly what I needed to see tonight. I switched my setting when I was playing around on my computer last night and was sweetly surprised by how my little laptop seemed to know which faces and which memories would melt my heart and make me feel loved.
I am not ready, or I do not know how, or I do not know if I want to write about the weight on my heart tonight. Funny how almost two years later I am still trying to sort out which pieces of my heart belong on this page and which pieces need to be kept close.
I will say that it has been a grieving day and an empowering day.
My hands are stained with blackberry juice, my tummy is filled with m&ms, my neck is kinked from talking to friends, and the crickets are singing in the field behind my place … time to rest.
“Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?” Douglas Adams.
Yes Mr. Adams but why would you not want fairies at the bottom of your beautiful garden? You must not like chocolate syrup and sprinkles on your ice-cream either.
3 comments:
I'm glad you blogged, I've been waiting! I'm sorry I missed your call today, I really wanted to call you back but by the time I could I figured it'd be too late, damn time change! Just wanted to say I love you and miss you and can't wait to chat. Oh give us some pictures, I wanna see if how I'm picturing your John is accurate :)
Your heart handled it exactly as it should have...I had the weirdest "I'm divorced!" experience at 'drum circle facilitator training' tonight--came right on outta left field...almost had tears in fronta strangers--not good, not good, but my heart and I handled it, and now I keep on walkin forward--just like my big strong role model hpat! xxoo love you to pieces blackberry snuffler!
Hi Miss H
Glad you found a safe haven away from all your friends out here. Now you can make all kinds of new ones there too. You amaze me and are also an excellent roll model for anyone... Big Warm hugs
Love K8
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