You know what ... I just wrote out all the details and it felt all wrong to do it that way. So I deleted it.
For now I think that all that needs to be said is that I am home.
I am exhausted and cried the moment I stopped moving.
I am scared and feel completely incapable of making the decision that lies ahead of me in the next couple of weeks. It feels unjust that I should have to chose between pain and the risks of surgery. How am I supposed to do this? I am angry that I do.
Thanks for all the messages of love, support, and concern. Every bit of your love makes my heart a little lighter. Way to emotional at the moment to even think about it ... you all just overwhelm my little heart ... you have all been so ... loveful.
Kirst and Erin ... Thank you. I love you.
I wish I could sit down and talk this through with Morrie.
- H
- I am doing my best to find the good things in my life and cherish them. I love deeply. I laugh hard (so hard I sometimes snort). I still dream and believe that dreams are meant to be followed. I try to depend on God. I have so much to learn. I hope.
5 comments:
Hey brave woman! It is not fair, I agree. You deserve a pain free, care free life, and I am not very pleased that all the praying hoping and loving were not enough. Morrie would encourage you to accept what is, but to remember that you have every right to feel sad and scared and angry--and then to dance. I love you and I am here for tea, a shoulder, whatever you need.
Did that crazy plant grow yet? What does it say?
Love you,
The Queen
Baby. I am so sorry you have to go through this. You are a beautiful person and it is just not fair. We've got some big talks to have with God when we get there, don't we?
I'm making Mexican Chocolate Mousse tonight, just for you; should be yummy!
Hey Hunny,
You ARE so brave! and for that I look up to you, you have such a big heart and kindered spirit and you deserve the world. I am here for you anytime.
Love
Jen
Keep your chin up! You are an amazing person and because of that you are blessed with amazing love.
Love You Lots;
Sharon
I hate that that you are having to go through this yet again. Please know that whatever your decision is and no matter the outcome I am always here for you, however and whenever you need me. I love you.
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