Shirley Temple

I am sitting in Krista's basement with ringlets tickling my neck. My hair is so curly it is about half the length that it usually is. I can not remember the last time that I used hot-rollers ... I kind of feel like I am in high school.
Irrelevant? Yes.
Okay so here is what we have to work with.
Option 1 - surgery in two weeks. The tumor is growing relatively fast and since my last scan was in November, it has likely grown considerably since then. It is always easier to take out a tumor when it is smaller. The longer it stays in there and presses against my nerves the higher the chance of permanent damage. However, risk of further paralysis is high. There is also high risk for damage to the nerves leading to the (this part really freaks me out) bowel and bladder. I am not interested in depends thank you kindly. _ _ _ _ !
Option 2 - What we are hoping, and praying desperately for, is a new procedure called radiosurgery. This has never been discussed before and could completely change my life. The procedure is a one shot deal where they use radiation to basically blast the tumor. The rays come from different directions at non-toxic doses but all cross each other in the middle of the tumor (ideally!) and cut off the blood supply. I would go home that day and you would never know anything had happened. If all went well the tumor would slowly die and dissipate. There is risk of damaging the surrounding nerves. My neurosurgeon will be presenting my case to the doc who is doing this in Calgary. I may not be a candidate. If he does not feel experienced enough then I will look at Toronto, Vancouver, and the states.
Option 3 - Spend half of my life proactively treating my pain. Pulling the whole team together and really doing everything possible to keep the morphine dose low so that I can still work, and the pain controlled enough ... so that I can still work (my life would be much easier if I did not have that work thing eh!)
Chemo is likely not an option but my doc is going to run it by the cancer board again.
I am just praying that I am a candidate for radiosurgery. Two weeks is not a lot of time to get this all figured out in ... going to be a stressful time.
The actual trip was a bit of a gong-show with blizzards and high-way skating rinks! We survived though and I realized how far I have come in taking things as they come and not getting worked up.
Fun stuff eh.