I got a tattoo!!!

I always said that I never would but I did it! Hmmmm what do you think it is? Where did she get it?

Okay, okay ... it is not really what you are thinking. They (the radiation therapists who will be referred to only as "they" from this point forward) informed me as I was getting set to get out of my sick-people clothes that there was just one more little thing that needed to be done.
"Okay ... what?"
"Well we just need to give you a little tattoo where the beanie was taped to your back to use as a marker throughout your treatment. It is done to increase accuracy. It will just be a little poke and depending on your skin it will likely just be a little dot but the die does spider out sometimes"
"Ummm... Okay?"
Funny thing to me is that there was absolutely no mention whatsoever of there being tattooing involved in this fiasco. I am absolutely positive on that one. Maybe they don't want people to get freaked out or are worried that people will decline it if they give them too much time to think about it. So heck lets just tell them a couple seconds before we poke'em.
"And we will be doing three more on the other marks after the first treatment"
"Okay?!?!?"

It is amazing how quite and compliant I become in situations like that.
I decided that I am going to make a conscious effort to be more relaxed and myself. I asked them if while they were at it if they would not mind making the tattoo something a little more interesting ... I got one smile out of the bunch!

So it has been an interesting couple of days in radiation land. A good summary of the experience thus far is my "blue pillow" which I will lay on each time the do treatment and kills my shoulders because I was soo tense when they made it that my shoulders do not fit when I am more relaxed. To make it they laid me down on this body length beanie bag ... blue of course ... actually more of a purple but they all call it the blue bag ... and made me move all over until the beanies where evenly spread out under me. Then they placed a cross shaped vacuum on me and a plastic sheet over that. They taped the plastic sheet down and then turned on the vacuum. I could not help but giggle. It felt really funny ... and I imagine it was not pretty. It reminded me of walking against the wind in a flimsy dress! So as the vacuum sucked me into the pillow they sucked the air out of the it and voila ... my little body cast in a blue-pillow. I was reminiscing with Kirst about how terrified I was the first time I had a cast done of my body for one of my body braces. I was maybe 13 and had just started developing ... at that tender age when you just wish that you were still flat and straight the worst thing ever is to have to stare at your new figure molded in plastic. I have never stopped hating my hips and boobs ... maybe it is time I let go of that ; )

This is getting long ... but it has been awhile since I wrote a coffee-requiring entry.

So, having Kirst there yesterday and Chris with me today was the trick to keeping the tears from falling. There were a couple ones that sneaked out when I was in the MRI but it was way better than my last visit.

The wine-crisis has been resolved. I talked to the Tom Baker pharmacist and he confirmed my hopes that the Shoppers pharmacist was a raving lunatic and being overly cautious. He also agreed that a glass of wine is very important and that I was not a crazy wine lady ... that is a medical conclusion so you can all just stop with the jokes. So ... with that information calming my heart I nicely went over to the liquor store and bought a box of my favorite wines. Yes, yes ... and I can tell you that just knowing it is there and I can partake in its brilliance whenever I want is a wonderful comforting thing.

But ... "they" tried to ruin my life again today. In addition to the tattoo I have crosses drawn all over my tummy and hips with permanent marker. As they are taking out my IV "they" inform me that these marks need to last the two weeks until I start treatment and to aid in that they are going to put little drops of silver in the middle of each cross. The marks should last as long as I don't scrub to hard.
Soooo ... I think to myself "Should I even ask? I know what the answer is going to be and I am not going to like it. Ugghhh crap, why do I always have to do the right thing"
"So .... I swim a lot. Is that going to be a problem?"
"Oh yes, the chlorine will affect the markings. You can't swim"
"But...."
And I guess the look on my face was enough to convey to them that this too was going to be a problem for me because they immediately started to converse about how we could work around this. The solution is not ideal but I NEED my swims ... so twice a week until treatment I will drag my little self half-way across the city, pay a fortune for parking to have them draw all over me again. It really is a weird world.

I must share though that the therapists have been nothing but gentle, thoughtful, patient and sweet so far. I could get frustrated that they talk to me like I am a child ... but I have to confess that it helps and I am scared and it does help to know what they are doing every step of the way. So I will be thankful.

Still have not written about my weekend ... and I have lots of pictures from Hip-hop and of the kids, and the weekend to post ... but I will let your poor minds rest and retreat from the whirlwind that mine can be. G-night ; )