A glimpse of manic ...

It has been a kind of interesting time in my mind since they made me a ball of walking steroids. I have such a hate/love/amazement/interest in the whole medication thing. (My usual filter seems to be a little loosey goosey, where I would normally say I take pain medication instead of Morphine ... I found myself nonchalantly, like there was nothing unordinary about it ... answering "morphine and steroids" when queried upon my pill population last night ... I am getting tired of sugar-coating ... tis'what it is). Our bodies are so freaking complex and brilliant. The steroids are new for me ... I think ... no I am a liar ... they tried them when I was younger ... but I don't remember ... so I am not really a hard-core liar ... more the absent-minded type. So ... what we have ended up with is what feels like my brain is perhaps the most industrious brain that ever was. Coming from a girl that is used to feeling like her neurons fire generally at the rate of a geriatric-snail ... it blows me away that some people's minds actually are this fast. All of the sudden I feel like all of those little things on my to-do list that always end up pages back and unchecked must get done now. Granted I am not working and am not good at being idle ... it is the zest with which I feel like I could do things with. The only problem being that the mind is so there and the body is so not.
Example of mind yes, body no....
The other night ... I decide in all of my zesty brilliance that the message board that has been sitting in my den since I moved in HAS to go up in my front-entrance ... NOW. So I slowly gather all of my tools and ... TWO HOURS, FOUR WRONG HOLES (with plastic-screw plugs ... cause it has to be secure and it has to be done right), AND A MILLION MATH EQUATIONS ALL OVER THE BACK (cause numbers never lie!) ... and a little lay-down asking myself why the heck I was doing this ... and VOILA! THANK GOODNESS that is up cause I don't think I could have survived another day without it! In retrospect ridiculous ... but at the time completely mandatory.
It feels good to have such ambitious thoughts ... I think that I can understand just a little better why individuals with Bi-polar disorder can really struggle with taking medications ... if what my thoughts have been are comparable ... and crappers ... their bodies are willing too!

This all makes sense to me ... I am wondering how coherent it is to you?

Norma took me to treatment today and since she was instrumental in helping me find this treatment I figured she would be interested in seeing what actually happens. She was amazed ... apparently the technology is mind-baffling ... I wish that I could see ... maybe I could make a dummy one day ... do you think they would fall for it?

Legs are randomly going weak and decide now and then that they don't want to stand anymore ... unnerving. You think that they would be a little more considerate and give me a little schedule ... so selfish! The worst part is that I know it is not safe for me to be really driving ... and I am so motivated to do so many wonderful things ... urghhh ... why does life like to stretch us and challenge us?

I forgot to share that I got up the guts to request that the technicians add a little happy to my tummy and take the liberty of using color and creativity to make my target area ... well ... funner. They have excelled ... today a purple flower with a green stem : )

We are on the other side here kids ... only 9 treatments left to go!