My email to Kate ...
I am in the midst of breaking my own heart. Or at least that is what it feels like. I was offered a job as a grief counsellor at the children's grief and palliative care centre that I am working at. I have spun it a million different ways in my head ... but in the end I don't think that I can walk away from this one.
It honestly makes my tummy sick though. I am so missing my life in Calgary. I miss our laughs and wine and just listening to your heart's wisdom.
I miss a million things and in all honesty I don't know how well I will do here in the end but I am going to try.
I feel like God is asking me to trust my relationships ... that they can endure separation and that the reason that the people I cherish are in my life goes beyond what I can offer when I am in the same physical space. This is very hard for me. My natural tendency is to hold tightly to that which has proven to be true and beautiful. I am very fearful of loosing what kept me together when I fell apart. Maybe a little piece of me wonders if I won't just crumble to the floor all over again if I am not within a quick car ride from home's support.
I don't know Kate. Why can't it be clearer ... or could it be any clearer?
- H
- I am doing my best to find the good things in my life and cherish them. I love deeply. I laugh hard (so hard I sometimes snort). I still dream and believe that dreams are meant to be followed. I try to depend on God. I have so much to learn. I hope.
3 comments:
You are so much stronger than you know!! There will be no crumbling, because you have endured through all that life has thrown at you, and you will continue to do so. In the short time that you have been there, you have built relationships that are lasting with people who love who you are and feel blessed to have met you--just like here. If you ever need us, we would each and every one jump on a plane to come to you. Stop worrying. Start enjoying this leg of the adventure--it's gonna be a good one!! See you in a few days!! xxoo
QT
Hello my little sweet pea
Congratulations on your new job! I know everyone there realizes how lucky they are to have you. Most people recognize a pure heart when they see one. I am so happy for all the children who will have the opportunity to meet and fall in love with you as you help them on their life's journey, be it long or short you and your beautiful heart will help them through.
You may miss a million things from home but know that all the friends you have here will never leave you. You don't have to be in our physical space for us to continue loving you. You must follow your dreams and know that we are all here for you should you need us. As our beautiful friend Holly says "Bloom where you are planted".
Love and big long hugs K8
Chris and I promise to take good care of you. Wine, chocolate and love, love, love.
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