With each breath in that I take laying on my bed curled in her blanket I wonder if she, laying still and slowly dying, has taken her last ... and my heart collapses and I want to grab her spirit and tell it to never leave.
I don't want her to die.
I don't want my mom to hurt like she is and will.
I don't want the only way to hear her voice to be on a machine. I want her voice to come back and her eyes to open and shine their blue.
I don't want her to die.
I don't want a world that she does not live in.
I don't want to see her chair empty of never hear her foot-steps sneaking dessert in the wee hours of the night.
I don't want to never get another card from her.
Her feet are cool, her breath is delayed, her earlobes have fallen back ... her body is slowing shutting down ... and we each wait with a panic in our hearts that will do nothing to act on. Her lifetime has come to its end.
How do my little muffins do this when it is their mom, or dad, or sister, or brother. This makes me admire their little hearts so much.
4 comments:
I am soo very sorry for you and your family. My heart aches for you all.
Heather
I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I know how special she was to you. My love to you and family. If I can help in any way just give me a call.
Big long warm hugs.
K8
What a beautiful expression of your love! What a beautiful Grandma you have in your heart! Thought of you lots today--
QT
My heart is sad for you but your grandmother has blessed you with so much!
Big hugs and miss you soooooo much.
Love Holly~Steve~Shayne~Jordan~and Keita
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